i see.

Do you remember that little rhyme we all used to sing when we were young? Yeah, the one where we'd all sing in unison when we put our little desks in a circle, the tape cassette playing in the background. Do you see what i see? do you see what I see?.... I dont remember the name. But the tune stuck with me. along with the words. Do you see what I see? Some how when we get older it takes a whole new meaning. forming more exigence as we ourselves grow. the desire to be understood.i. singular.i see.to be so involved in understanding. its like were reach our hands out for everything grasping. desperately grasping. hoping will get something out of it. hoping that a string of words'll mean something so much more than it really does. to understand. and to be understood. why does it mean so much to us... no. I dont think were meant to see eye to eye. maybe in a shallow sense yeah. but no two eyes are ever exactly the same. in shape, distance, color. or perspective.It has a sweet childlike quality to it doesn't it?

will you ever be able to see what I see?

Coffee Cup.

I love that fact that people can just do or say or write notes or journals or blogs and not be held responsible for it. its like. in everyones own domain. they can say what ever the hell they want letting friends and strangers alike read these things.. even if they are questionable or totally disagreeable. but life just goes back to the way they were. like icing. nothing happened. there's no crack on the cake. shhhh...

People who read it and totally agree and leave a little comment or two admiring the cleverness and such of the piece.. while others really dont like it, leaves a lengthy anecdote or whatnots listing the reasons why they themselves personally dont agree.'you have good points of view, but i dont quite agree... heres why: blah blah blah, blah blaaaaah. see? Im right and your wrong.'

And yet there are others who isn't quite the extreme, but also who arn't so inclined with the subject and dismisses it thinking its a joke. some huge sham. these are the people who im quite interested in. The in betweens. like they have an opinion. everyone always does. its human nature. but they refuse to address it. the people who usually answer with a prolonged 'ehhhhhh' I think its funny that people tend to dismiss things they dont quite like. not so much you mind you that they form arguments to defend whateverside but just enough not to believe. Or just enough to convince themselves it doesn't exists or have no real impact in their life... putting it in a deep shelf of their consciousness.

Im a firm believer that everything from watching the news, walking down the street, talking to strangers, feeling the rain or the sun to reading random blogs influences who we are as people. They have this filter you see. like the ones you find used to make a nicely brewed coffee...Its funny because they dont know it exists. especially the fact that its part of their every waking moment. it's funny because they dont understand it so they make another little shelf in their consciousness and hide it away. I think human filters are the most interesting and funniest things.

The Rain Told Me Certain Things I Thought I'd Never Hear.

There is so much things in life that i have yet to know. It seems like I never have enough time. I want to know people. you know? I want to know who they really are, where they come from, what are they most passionate about in life... to see the true quality of their hearts.

is that too impossible?

Like an xray vision in a matchbox world. I dont know what that means. Some people think im all play and no work. Like one of thouse kids that go to collage just to fuck around and go to parties to get drunk and get high. I think its funny. Well, and a bit insulting. But thats just me.

I'd like to live in an island.

As in the wilderness. and camp my days away. have random pet animals. Like monkeys. and jellyfishes. and be totally secluded from everything else. Just to get to know myself, and what i stand for.

Love is confusing. And sometimes hard to believe it really exists.

I know Im a passionate person. and I love myself for it.

I dont think there is anything about myself I regret. At this moment, in this point of time in my life. There might have been some really shitty things that happened to me in the past... But I dont think Im so bitter towards it as I used to be. Its... self love. I suppose. Everything that happened to me all the little things... all the experiences.. all the people... all the places.. all the little conversations... has made who I am today.

And frankly, There's no one in the world I rather be.

When things are coming to an end, we tend to panic. basic human reflex, i suppose. Its hard to embrace whats to come especially when its uncertain.

We live in a world of uncertainty. isn't that right?

I think people tend to live miserably because they try so hard to go against the flow of what is suppose to become us... of whats to come in the end of each chapter. They refuse to embrace uncertainty and chance, luck, destiny, random, serendipity... all the things that cant really be explained.

Security is a Myth.

no one is ever satisfied. It's hard to believe we all use to have nothing.
and when the little things used to be enough.

I think were all so wrapped up in what we would like to have in the future, that sometimes we forget to live.

Is it so different? To live and being alive? I think it is. Everyone would like to think they've lived their life.

I want to believe is something. I want to be able to believe in something so much that Im willing to give things up for it.

I want to go out with a bang. there was never any question you know. how we feel.

We'd all like to go through life thinking we've found the right one, met the right friends, loved the right people.

so much depend on perspective.

Can happiness be relative? Is everything relative? I say yeah. hell yeah.

Theres so many of us its hard to know where we belong. are niches already pre-made? or they appear as people realize that they're to become?

and what if theres not enough for all of us?

I want to able to think that everything was worth it.